


Fixing A Hole Where the Rain Gets In

by runningsissors



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book: New Moon, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 21:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningsissors/pseuds/runningsissors
Summary: "She was supposed to want him to protect her. She was supposed to care about him. She was supposed to love him. Wasn’t she?"





	Fixing A Hole Where the Rain Gets In

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to livejournal in 2009. Rediscovered as I was cleaning out my dropbox.

There’s a window in the chapel not made of stain glass — the second one in on the left-hand side. The windows portray the sun setting or some shit like that; he’s never really paid attention. But now he’s noticed there’s one that doesn’t have any stain glass depiction in it, and it’s all he can focus on.

 

He doesn’t want to look at his dad who’s going around greeting people and helping with the ceremony in the way any chief would.  

 

The last time he was in this church he’d stood at the front, with Rebecca’s hand rubbing small circles into his back like his mom used to do. That’d been six years ago. Might as well have been a day ago though. It feels that way.

 

A wave of nausea hits him as he pulls at his tie for the fifth time since they’ve gotten here. It’s stifling; there’s no spare air for anyone to breathe in. He tugs at the sleeve of his shirt, not quite used to the sensation of fabric being able to brush against his wrist. He bought a new black oxford in compensation for not owning or having the funds for a suit jacket.

 

Sue is with his dad greeting people; shaking hands, accepting hugs. He knows Seth and Leah are by Harry’s casket, but he can’t bear to look at them. He can’t stand seeing the crushing lost look on Seth’s face and hard glare of Leah’s eyes with everyone that comes to pay their respects.

So, he stares out that damn window, watching people file in and continue to take all the air. There’s no air, don’t they understand. There’s no more room.

 

A tremble rolls along the base of his spine, and he contemplates putting his head between his legs to calm down.

_“Thanks for coming, Charl-”_

 

Jacob snaps his head back, staring at the large crowd shuffling into the chapel. He watches Charlie shake Sue’s hand. Watches as she pulls him into a hug, and he pats her back in an awkward, but none the less comforting manner. Watches as Bella stands there in her little black dress and pale skin, wringing her hands nervously. Watches her catch his eye and give a small smile.

 

He doesn’t smile back, just whips his head back and pulls at his tie again. 

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

The night that leech (he’s still not sure which leech it is) came back he broke three windows in the Cullen’s house. He didn’t phase, so technically it’s not breaking the treaty to step on their property. The windows had been because he was mad, and that’s what you do when you’re fucking mad. You break things.

  

Every rock: the punch in the gut he felt as she chose them over him.

 

Every echo of glass shattering: a piece of his heart breaking.

 

If he hadn’t been so angry at the moment, he would get someone from the pack to smash his damn face in for sounding like such a wimp.

 

How could Bella just walk away from him?

 

How could she turn her back on him, and run into the arms of the bloodsuckers like the past had been knocked from her head? Well screw her. If she wanted to get, her neck drained and throw her life away on monsters worse than him, then all the power to her.

 

He wishes he didn’t immediately regret thinking that.

 

She was supposed to want him to protect her. She was supposed to care about him. She was supposed to _love_ him.

 

Wasn’t she? ********

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

“Hi,” Bella says quietly, standing hesitantly at the opening of the garage. “Billy said you came straight down here after the service.”

 

His dad was a damn traitor that was never to be trusted again.

 

He grunts, shrugging slightly but never taking his eyes away from the bolt and rag dowsed in rust guard.

 

“His speech about Harry was nice. I’ve never heard Billy speak so eloquently. I hardly knew Harry, and I felt like crying.”   

 

He tosses another clean bolt into its designated empty ice cream container and pours a bit more rust guard onto his cloth.

 

She clears her throat, and he can hear her heart quicken its pace. “Hey, I recognize this,” she picks up his tie from the ground where he’d tossed it earlier and folds it gently into her palm.

 

“You wore this to my Junior Prom, right? When Billy paid you to wor...” she fades off, her eyes looking intensely at the tie as a hard line forms on her lips.  

 

“Jacob,” she sighs a few moments after in a defeated manner that makes his knees want to buckle. “Please don’t be mad at me. I hate when we fight.”

 

He frowns at the cloth, his brows knitting together.

 

“ _Please_ , Jake,” she says again, taking another step closer. “I’ve missed you.”

 

He finally meets her gaze, his eyes flickering over her quickly before going back to look down at his handiwork.

 

“Nice dress.” _Yeah, that’ll show her, dumb ass._  

 

She runs a hand down the material (which is a deep navy upon closer inspection) and gives a small, tight smile, blushing. “It’s not mine. Alice let me borrow one of hers.”

 

He looks up again, “Alice?” the name sounds familiar, but he can’t quite place it.

 

“She’s Edwa-” she pauses, sucking in a quick breath. “She’s the Cullen staying with me.”

 

Ah, a conversation in this very place springs to his mind. One where he’d held her hand and asked why she wrapped her arms tight around herself. He remembers the coolness of her bite mark against the tip of his finger, as he traced it (now knowing exactly what kind of monster gave it to her).

 

Automatically his nose wrinkles in disgust.  The one who could see the future or some crazy shit like that. He can feel his hands starting to tremble slightly. “So, it costs more than my entire house probably.”

  

Of course, he’s not bitter.

 

“Jacob,” she says his name again, and he can’t help but look back up at her. It’s a gut response. Goddamnit. “I love Alice. She was the closest thing I’d ever had to a best friend before _you,_ and I’m not going to send her away just because you don’t trust her.”

 

She runs a hand over the trunk of the Rabbit and gives a sad smile. “But I love spending time with you, too, and I don’t want this to come between us...”

 

“It doesn’t work that way, Bells.”

 

Despite his words, she smiles briefly. “So I can still be Bells?”

 

“Yeah,” he looks down, “you’ll _always_ be Bells.” He fights back the urge to pull her into him. “You just can’t be the Bells I go to see in Forks.”

 

She frowns, “But Jake, this is so silly. Why can’t you-”

 

He glowers at his cloth, trying not to take his anger out on her. It’s not really her fault at this point. “Wolves aren’t allowed in Forks, so you’re unprotected at home as long as she’s there.”

 

Bella nods, her face paling slightly. “I- I’m sure Alice wouldn’t object to-”

 

“The treaty. Remember, Bella? We’d be breaking it.”

 

She goes quiet, her mouth forming a silent ‘oh.’ She fingers the tie still clutched in her hand and sighs, “Well then I’ll just have to be Bells in La Push.” 

 

Yeah, that’s cool. She can keep the bloodsucker. He’ll just be the dirty little scraps she runs off to see every now and again. No biggie.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

Bella calls a few hours later, her voice cracking as she says his name.

 

The Cullen vamp, Alicia or whatever the fuck her name was, has pulled a runner again apparently. At least this time she left a note, which a sniffled sounding Bella says contained an apology for not being able to say good-bye, but she was ‘needed at home,’ and had to leave immediately.

 

Jacob sees past the bullshit. What could be so crucial to a family of leeches? Medical emergencies or deaths didn’t happen. But he says nothing to Bella. Better to let her just believe this.

 

He’s thrilled it’s gone but still feels awful at how its departure is tearing Bella apart. 

  

“Want me to come over?”

 

“No... I’m okay. I’m just going to go to bed or something. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay if you’re sure. Sleep tight, Bells.”

 

“Wait,” she pauses, breath shaky on the line. “Do you think you could come over? I don’t really want to be alone right now, and Charlie’s still at the rez.”

 

“Sure, sure.”

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

He can hear the sound of her feet pounding the stairs before he even knocks.

 

The door flings open, and he’s hit with that scent. Vampires. It smells like what the rotting insides of that fat kid from the Willy Wonka movie would smell like, mixed with this pungent floral smell and burns his nose like he snorted horseradish. 

 

God, it _reeks_.

 

“I saw the Rabbit from my window.” She tucks some hair behind her ear and gives a wilted smile, “thanks for coming.”

 

He tries to mask the fact that he can barely breathe, but his nose still wrinkles, and Bella’s eyes tear up, they’re already impossible red and puffy as it is.

 

“You can smell Alice, can’t you? I’m sorry Jake, this must be so hard for you. I shouldn’t have asked yo—”

 

“Bella,” he interjects, “it’s okay, honey.” He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her and breathes through his mouth. That sickly-sweet stench clings to her still.

 

She rests her head on his chest. “I knew she couldn’t stay forever, but—” he feels her tears against his chest, “but having her here made me feel like I wasn’t crazy. That they were real and that I didn't just imagine their existence.”

 

He rubs her back, “C’mon, let’s go inside.” 

 

They shuffle into the hallway, Jacob getting the door with his foot. She heads into the kitchen, but he stays, staring at the mess of blankets on the ground in the living room.

 

She peers back, catching his line of sight, and sighs. “Oh, I should probably clean those up.”

 

“No, you go ahead and do what you were doing before. I got it.” He gives her a reassuring smile and picks up a blanket. His nostrils burn even worse now, and his fingers begin to shake. The wolf within is scraping against his chest to be freed. It smells danger.

 

“Hey,” Bella says softly, covering his hand with hers, “why don’t you finish loading the washing machine for me instead. I’ll do these blankets.”

 

He pursues his lips but nods and releases his hold on the blanket to Bella. She gives him a small watery smile and begins folding the blanket into quarters as he steps down the hall.

 

He hangs around just long enough to hear the sound of her soft jerky sobs, before quickening his pace. He can’t hear her waste her tears on leeches. No matter how much she loves them.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

Jacob’s got the Rabbit in idle as Embry makes a run for ‘the necessities’ for their _Rocky_ marathon.

 

He wanted _Apocalypse Now_ but was outvoted by tweedle dee and the dip shit, so it’s a night to be filled with Sylvester Stallone and his screams of _“ADRIANNE”_ instead.

 

“Un-fuckin’-believable,” Quil mutters, shaking his head from the passenger’s seat. Jacob follows his line of sight and snorts.

 

Some guy’s got Katie Stone practically pinned against the siding of the Market. She’s got a big pink bubble of gum coming out of her mouth in a very cliché-in-the-movies kind of way. She flips her hair back, popping her bubble at the last moment and smiles in that girlish way.

 

“There’s a word for people like that...” Jacob casts a sidelong glance at him, raised brows and all. “No, I’m saying, there’s a word, and I don’t know what it is. I’m not being fucking poetic.”

 

“I think the word you want is jealous. Or maybe envious is more appropriate.”

 

Quil’s nose scrunches, “Oh no, my friend. I’m done with Katie Stone. Have been for a long time now.”

 

Jacob rolls his eyes, rubbing his hands along the curve of the wheel. “Yeah, _okay_ man, if being “done” entitles being blown off completely.”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Quil snaps, “at least I’m getting action at all. You’re practically a walking add for abstinence. Jesus, when’s the last time you even spoke to a girl who wasn’t pale and freaky and named Bella?”

  

Jacob scowls, turning his eyes back to Katie Stone and her bubble gum. He’d had a crush on her in fifth grade; use to think she had the prettiest hazel eyes.

 

He can barely remember what that felt like now, what those stupid crushes had meant to him. It feels like it’s been Bella for so long, she’s clouded all the other girls’ faces and names. There’s no room for them in his head. Only Bella.  

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

He stops halfway down the steps, the sound of his father’s voice filtering in through the kitchen. It sounds like he’s talking to someone downstairs. Probably just Sam is coming over to bark at him again about his responsibilities to the pack and keeping a clear head and _blah blah blah_.

 

“I know you’re worried, but I think she’ll be okay-”

 

It gets quiet then, and Jacob quickly realizes his dad’s on the phone. A few moments passed, and Jacob holds his breath. He can only guess who’s calling.

 

“Charlie-” _bingo_ “would you stop mumbling. No one wants to see Bella in that state again. I’ve got a boy living in my house who thinks God’s green earth revolves around your daughter.” Jacob scowls; he doesn’t really need Charlie knowing about the major jones he has for his only child. “...so, I wouldn’t panic too much about her being alone... yes, yes I know.”  

 

There’s another pause. “If she were my child- no I’m not telling you how to raise your kid. I’m just saying that in my vast experience with wallowing teenage girls, I kicked them out of the house....no not literally, what kind of man do you take me for?”

 

Jacob bites his cheek.  “Maybe some fresh air would do her some good.... send her on down here.... and if you’re coming, too, it’s your turn for the beer run. You’re a damn fool if you think you can pull one on me... Yes. All right. See you later.”

 

Jacob bounds into the kitchen and Billy gives him that ‘you can’t hide anything from me boy’ look as he swings the fridge door open.

 

“Morning,” he mumbles, his mouth full juice.

 

“It’s almost midday.”

 

“Oh, well-” he tosses the carton back in the fridge and grins, “I better be off then.”

 

He’s halfway out the door when he hears his father’s rough call. “You’d better put a shirt on before they get here.”

 

Jacob grumbles. 

+

 

 

“So,” Bella stretches out her legs from her perch on a milk crate, “what exactly are you working on right now?”

 

He sets down the cloth, “Uh, my left headlight keeps moving. I’m just realigning it. Really quick job. I promise we’ll do something interesting after.”

 

Bella nods her head, “How do you do that?” 

 

He turns to look at her, “I, uh... can show you if you want?”

 

She grins softly, nodding again and hurries to his side. She’s never really been interested in what he’s doing, especially now. She just always said she liked watching, so for her to want to do something is new. Especially now. 

 

She stands in front of the car, her hands raised to her chest like she’s afraid to touch something wrong.

 

“Okay,” he grabs a screwdriver and hands it to her, “do you see the screw in the middle of the headlight?”

  

She nods, twisting her hair behind her head to get it out of her face. He wants to push it back for her.

 

“Good. Now you’re gonna take the screwdriver and twist that screw five times counter-clockwise.”

 

“Counter-clockwise,” she says more to herself than to him, reaching into the Rabbit with the screwdriver. She gets through three turns before she looks up at him in alarm. “I think I did something wrong.”

 

He laughs. “Bells, it’s just turning a screw. It’s hard to mess that up.”

 

“No, really! It won’t give anymore, and I heard this weird popping sound...”

 

He rolls his eyes, stepping behind to take a look over her shoulder. He feels her shoulder tense slightly, but he swears it’s almost like she leans into him. 

 

“Here,” he says, reaching out and laying his hand over hers, “you’ve jammed the screw, that’s all. Just re-twist it and you’ll be fine.” 

 

“Oh,” she lets out a nervous laugh, “I’m pretty useless, aren’t I?”

 

He laughs, “Only sometimes.”

 

She gets her shoulders into the twisting, and when she’s done, she looks up at him, her hair brushing against his face. “Is that okay?”

 

“Oh, sorry,” he mumbles quickly, stepping back to give her space. She blushes. “Uh,” he pretends to look over her shoulder at the light, though right now he could care less about it, “yeah, looks good.”

 

_Jesus_.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

Sam says it’s only a matter of days until they’ve got the red vamp cornered along the northern border.

 

Paul got a chunk of her coat last night as he chased her up to Seattle, but she’s just too damn fast.

 

“Sam,” Jacob says, the better half of his mind screaming for him to shut the fuck up. “What are we supposed to do about the—Cullens?” Sam gives him a puzzled look. “They know about the redhead. Bella told the one that was staying with her, and I’m sure that’s why she left soon after. To go tell the others.”

  

Sam’s face is hard. The look of a leader. “We’ll deal with that issue when and if it comes up. Enough is going on now already.”

 

Jacob nods, running a hand through his hair. “I-uh...I just thought you should know. You know...just in case.”

 

Sam gives a small flicker of a smile. “Thanks for the heads up, Jake.”

 

“Yeah, sure, sure.”

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

“Stop that,” Bella says, feigning annoyance. Her hand grips her pencil tightly, a smile beginning to show that she doesn’t want him to see.

 

He grins innocently at her, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Her eyes roll, but that faint smile twitches at the corner of her lips again. “I’m sure you don’t.”

 

He goes back to his geometry, staring at the page for a few minutes before knocking his elbow against hers again.

 

“Jacob,” she hisses, “do I need to send you to the opposite side of the coffee table?”

 

“It’s not my fault you have boney elbows.” He laughs at the outraged look on her face, elbowing her once more. “Yeah, definitely boney.”  

 

She jabs her knee into his side and smirks. “I’m never doing homework with you again, Jacob Black,”  indignantly huffing when he pokes her.

 

“You love doing homework with me,” he jests, winking at her. “Any chance to get close to the fine specimen that I am. I see right through your plan, Swan.”

 

Despite the crease on her brow she chuckles, the sound of it less manic and more real than he’s heard in a while.

 

“I like that,” he says with a smile, giving her side another light poke with his finger.

 

“Like what?” her head tilts with the question, and he’s sure she is the cutest and prettiest thing on the face of the planet. _Jesus_ , his dad was right. The world does revolve around Bella Swan, his sixteen-year-old world at least.

 

He draws a cube in the ledger lines of his page. “You laughing. I like it when you do it.”

 

She ducks her head, her cheeks warming into a blush. He briefly wonders what it might be like to see her whole body covered in that pinky hue. Then she shoves at his shoulder with hers, and a wide smile explodes across his face.

 

“I should probably get going,” he says, pencil rolling between his thumb and index finger. “I have patrol at seven.”  

 

Just as he moves to get up, she leans over and brushes her lips across his cheek.

 

He smiles in a way that makes his cheeks hurt, and he’s sure she sees it. You can’t hide shit like that from a girl sitting really close to you.

 

“Be careful, okay?” she says, her lips setting in that classic hard line and eyes wide and earnest.

 

A thousand lines fall into his head. _Aren’t I always,_ or _For you I will._ But that’s lame, and he doesn’t do corny. Well, not _all_ the time.

 

“Jeez, you’re such a fun kill.” She gives him a look that would put any small child in their place, and he smiles. “Yeah, okay. Sure, sure. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

  

It’s a question because she hasn’t really smiled since the whole little cheek peck thing, and because it’s Bella, she’s probably freaking out and kicking herself for being so affectionate with him when they both know she’s in her whole ‘I’m telling myself that I don’t like you that way, Jake, but really I do’ phase and may-

 

“Sure.” She says, tucking hair behind her ear. “We’ll do something other than homework this time, though.”  

 

And then she smiles.


End file.
